Denise Yockney

November 20, 2022

Reply

IThis may be a strange review .I was treated by Dr P Elwood a long time ago as an Out Patient at Bootham Park York .
At the time he was a Senior Registrar .
I had been the victim of a serious Sexual Assault . I became unwell , nervous and anxiety had overwhelmed my life . I made the Decission to go to Bootham Park .This Doctor seemed kind and I wanted to be helped with the Trauma as I had my own business in which I was so Desperate not to lose.I was around 35 and at my Description, this would the most formative time of my life , I had total independance over my life with a huge degree of promise for my future..I had similar traumas in the past and had an extremety of different kinds of abuse in my life.
On one visit to Bootham Park there was an appointment in a larger room with a mirror .I was spoken to normally then in a very low voice certain words were put to me , which created a over pouring of the traumas in my life ..
It is my belief that I was treated initially possibly as a time waster .
At this appointment Dr Elwood put his hand to his head and looked across the room . I said I dont think I should come here , he said Please do come back
This said to me We ,They had made a mistake and I was not a time waster .I had and indeed certainly was the Victim of a Serious Sexual Offence. ,and indeed had had abuse in my life previously
I think I went to a few appointments , but very shortly Dr Peter Elwood left Bootham Park .
I never went back and in possibly 24 years or so have only ever visited any Doctor possibly five times , possibly three in A &E if I cant fix myself.
The hand to the head gave me a trust and faith that this Dr Peter Elwood was a Decent Trusting Doctor .
I went through a Bizare ten years in which the trauma consumed in that awful appointment created a bubble of extreme Trauma ,I had fear produced in a way that was brutal and I can only self Diagnose that I had PTSD . I did not go out of a house ever for ten years .
I created this nice Doctor out of a brutal Bootham Park in which I made myself believe He was under a Consultant and maybe his hand to his head had caused him trouble in his career , Please bear in mind my thoughts ,actions at this time were out of Trauma , not the person I was which was a hard working ,honest person , independant , not relying on anyone , you could say the horrible word normal, with exception that trauma by others tipped me into a part of me having some episodes of over anxious , fear , but you could say is it not normal to have injuries not phsyical through trauma ,which should not reflect myself not to be normal , I did read my medical notes and this one appointment that created this ,was not as far as I could see there and to my serious breaking I saw I was labeled as a person with a Personality Disorder ..
My actions ,fear ,strangeness had never been in my life like this before . I could not open a door , The offence that lead me to Bootham Park I was within inches of closing a door before I was thrown back .Everytime I went to a Door I had multiple fears created from this one appointment .
I would have only one wish that that day had been explained to me as to what actually happened and why .
I did not cling to Dr Elwood , Had I had the correct rightful explanation , I would have continued to seeing a new Registrar .
I was prior a strong Independant person that did not become infatuated or dependent on Doctors .
The kind of person I was ,I had learnt to hide trauma from the age of six .When I am in the company of Decent people , trusting Enviroment in which any hospital should be , I present the outer me as a reflection of the Decency of the person before me , because I dont want to be this damage , its a cover and did not mean I was not unwell at this time .
My life has had to live with this room ,these words that were produced for so many years ,
I will not explain here but for a life time I will endure this , It creates self Doubt , a fear of Hospitals ,
I dont think I have a personality Disorder , why would this be helpful to a victim Labels ,Trauma by others , should it not be the stranger who assaulted me should be labelled with this.
I rang Lincoln Hospital once and thought of requesting within a safe hospital setting if this now Consultant Dr Elwood would explain this room , so I could move away from years of it affecting me reading , being able to not connect words back to Bootham Park .
I tried to ask the Trust no one would say and I am prisoned in that one appointment intermitantly in my life I became so traumatised and knowing myself , those times in which my fear created a sense of this Doctor would by no means not feel the need to expain ,I secured myself in a bubble of pretence , looking back this one unexplained appointment has created trauma , fear and attached to a creative This Doctor is Decent. , .I needed reality of this appointment to make sense ..
In the next generation of my family I have a Doctor relative ,I have not spoken to him concerning this .I do say to Tom Please allways find a way of telling your Patients the truth , with integrety and remember an honest approach will allways help family ,patients .
Mistakes will be made as in life we are all faluable to this .I think Dr Elwood at the time in Bootham Park was not in control
and was a Decent Doctor , but my words have to be said as I have to carry an uncertainty in my life in which I lost trust ,cannot trust my own judgement , I create self Doubt from this all the time and at difficult times I am allways back to this room ,am I right or wrong , I dont know . So I retreate this was not part of my personality and it is very tiresome. and frightening.
I am not Academic , but I had an Emotional intellect and I was so intuitive , now I question everything and live in this for all these years.
One day I will tell Tom and maybe as a fellow Medical Person he can help me find the truth as I did not deserve this label of Personality Disorder or indeed live a life in which Bootham Park cannot be put aside in my life .
Bureaucracy maybe prevented Dr Elwood giving an explanation of this prior to leaving or the Consultants above him , I wrote publicly and not Directly as to not be labelled as some obessed person ,I am never able to rid my memory of this and interestingly it is of interest what a Psychiatic method can produce .It has been a very difficult trauma to deal with and wont ressolve or close.
I did gain insight from Rape Crisis ,and was not treated with silence which produces worry , fear ,more trauma .
I still beleive this Dr Peter Elwood is a Decent Doctor , but I still have the question of is my intuitive part trusting .
I will write this agian in full to somebody one day maybe a friend of Tom if we ever find a trust to help gain closure on a induced Trauma that attached itself to that awful appointment in Bootham Park Hospital .

denise yockney

November 22, 2022

Reply

I wrote the above review .It was Completely Honest , Had no reason to harm , It is years ago , but to me its like yesterday
at Times .I see as I am Trauma Dyslexic the aftermath of my spelling , but most of all I wanted to ascertain the truth , If my reveiw is requested to be removed then I failed as I believed after all this time that there was no reason for litigation thoughts ,or privacy , or Defamation as it is of the upmost Honesty, and had a hospital had a conscience, a persons moral sense of right or wrong, veiwed as acting as a guide to ones behaviour to another . It with every Degree of Honesty was about my Pain , about Hospitals ,Doctors being Transparent ,Honest ., explaining things. To do no Harm, Harm can happen it is how that is dealt with that matters. Dealing with this matters to the Patient in more ways than anyone can imagine , But Psychiatry must know this .

As the reflection without that is what happened to me and to shut down is to internalize my speech again .I should have had the right to tell someone the aftermath of this .I am a person and The Patient should matter and if it is as it is ,Truthful then
silencing me is wrong and we all have to bear Responsibility for issues in life with a Conscience so it does not happen to any one again .It is not about a Doctor’s reputation , what it is about is me and I should have a reputation of being seen as I am,
I will not write another reveiw of Dr Peter Elwood , I would request I am listened too above any ones right for privacy or Reputation , and my thoughts of one day finding the truth is to heal .
To put the medical Proffession before a Patient all too many times in wrong doing’s happens ,maybe Transparency and an Honest approach is indicative, pointing out ,expressive is for the benefit of a persons Health not a reason of reducing another .I thought the Decency would be to listen.

Psychiatry is one of those fields that the interest of how a practice affects another should be relevant to what Psychiatry is about , It should not be seen in a modern world as a Reputation or Privacy .I am a person who was affected by a practice
at Bootham Park and the fear has silenced me for years Real Fear beyond anyone could know .In the Traumatic Appointment my fears were attached to that room , many appointments , you never remember ,I have a completely Detailed memory of that appointment like yesterday .Is that not Trauma.. I should be allowed to express this It took a lot of Courage
and is not about failing another.